Valentine’s Day is upon us, and what a time it is for all the lucky ducks in love! February 14 is the one day of the year you can bring out all the cheese you can muster, and do everything in your power to show that special someone how much they really mean to you.
But let’s be honest, people of the outdoors-breed do this holiday a little differently than everyone else. A romantic evening stroll through town may be replaced with a ten mile trek through the woods, and a candle-lit restaurant dinner might instead be a picnic and a night sleeping under the stars. Now I’m not saying one is any better than the other, but there are certain qualities in these romantic gestures that make one thing very clear: you’re absolutely dating an outdoorsman or woman. (Head’s up: This post contain absurd stereotypes and generalizations). Part 1: You know you’re dating an outdoorsMAN when…
1. He has a goggle tan.
Since your radness as a skier is undoubtedly measured by the intensity of your goggle tan, you know he’s going to be tanning in the backyard with his goggles on to make sure everyone who looks at his face knows he’s the best skier on the mountain.
2. He uses terms such as rad, sick, sendy, shifty, boof, gnar, nutty, and jib in every sentence.
This is the almost “mating call” of an outdoorsman, so he can make it clear to everyone around him that he clearly knows what he’s talking about it when it comes to dope adventures. Don’t worry: if you don’t understand a term he’ll be happy to explain it to you. And I’m sure soon enough you’ll catch on to all the lingo and you can communicate in your own slang language!
3. You’ve never seen him without a flannel.
Even when you’re “sleeping” he probably has it on. Extra points if he wears those cargo/khaki tan pants and Chacos regardless of the season. And he hasn’t cut his hair in a few years and/or has a man bun.
4. His date ideas always include something outdoorsy.
This can mean anything from wandering the bountiful heaven of REI for hours at a time to actually taking you on a cool hike or adventure in our great outdoors to watching a ski movie. “Netflix and chill” becomes “Dude did you see that sick Misty-Rodeo-12-Daffy-Back, he totally stomped it.”
5. He has the dopest sticker collection.
How he continuously adds to this collection is a total mystery, and what he does with all of them is also a mystery. But, man they’re cool and you’ll probably steal them.
6. There’s gear everywhere.
He may only have two bikes, but you swear that’s at least two-hundred and four crammed in every corner of the house. And none of them can stay outside because he loves them more than you. Your pillow is probably a climbing rope and sometimes you mix up your soap with ski wax. Why was it in the shower in the first place? No one really knows.
7. He KNOWS his brands and gear.
And when I say knows I mean you could find the most obscure brand that two guys run out of their garage in Bluff, Utah and ask him about the 2013 model of the Sender 2000 and he would tell you every possible bit of information, why you should or shouldn’t buy it, and how much it costs. When you say something like, “I want new skis,” be prepared to listen to an entire presentation on your options and the best choice for you. Honestly, this ridiculous amount of gear knowledge could be one of the most useful things when you’re blindly buying something, so keep him around ladies (and gentlemen).
8. He’s hurt just about every day of the year.
“Hon, you just hurt your back biking last week and almost drowned kayaking the week before that, don’t you think you should take a break?” The response is always no unless he’s in a full body cast. And have no doubt that skiing with him or climbing with him and watching him absolutely send something will terrify you to your very core. But when he sticks it you’ll admit how dope it really was. If he sticks it.
9. Most of his stories are exaggerated by like 300%, but also based on some totally impressive adventures.
Yes, a lot of the stories have a fair amount of bragging, but he adds in enough anecdotes about how much he messed up or got hurt that it balances out.
10. He’s the coolest guy you know.
There’s a reason you’re dating him after all, and all jokes aside, his flannel-loving, always dirty, story-telling, adventurous, rad personality is pretty great.
Check out part two, You know you’re dating an outdoors-woman when…